The Harris County Hospital District is run by a bunch of dumb fuckers who wouldn't know their ass from a hole in the ground. Stupid fucking shits. You can all go to motherfucking hell. You bastards.

ETA: I'd love to believe my little diatribe above was responsible for the nice phone call I had from the HCHD a couple of hours after this posting, but I know it didn't. I got the phone call because I pretty much made an ass out of myself at the clinic. But at least I now know how to get results: BE AN ASS!